
I largely suspect that there are
some things that can only happen to me.... Take Friday, for example. My sherut (a minivan-like cab) driver literally propositioned me. I was coming back from getting my hair done for the wedding (remember that? good...) and was running late because of shabat but mostly because I'm aimee piper…. Anyhow, so the guy seriously asked me – once we were alone in the sherut – if Bahá’ís could date. *I knew he was really asking if I could him* So I told him no. He said – “oh, so you just marry?” Yes.
Then he asks how old I am. At this point I decide to be truthful and I tell him that I'm 31. He doesn’t believe me (I was only kind of flattered as he's 24). But then he asks if I'm a virgin.
The record
literally skipped, friends.
I was like “uhhhhh… I don’t see how that’s any of your business”. It gets better: “my wife needs to be a virgin”.
Naturally I reply – “well, are you a virgin?” [Sidenote: I have zero time for double standards]
HAHAHAHA. Then he got frustrated and asked why I didn’t answer his first question. THEN he tells me “in my village (of course he’s a dahotti – bechareh) I have to marry a virgin”.
But he didn’t want to discuss things anymore when I asked if he was a virgin. Good thing – we were at my stop! Hahahahaha.
Conjunction Junction, it most
certainly was not. But it takes 'FANBOYS' to a whole new level, huh?